Often, in the therapy room, I ask clients about their family, and draw something called a genogram map. Part of my therapeutic framework is that we are influenced, shaped, wounded, loved, delighted in, and healed in our families of origin. As a therapist, families of origin also help me develop a fuller picture of the suffering of the client: their behaviours, thought processes, and ways of being. Internally, I develop more compassion and curiosity towards clients as well.
I was recently struck by a truth that I read in a blogpost: “To evangelize the culture, we must first see our culture clearly”. There seems to be a parallel here with the above therapeutic practices: when we know where we are and where we stand, we begin to understand ‘the lay of the land’. This awareness will help us figure out more clearly how to move forward.
The “lay of the land” at the parish level looks something like this: people are coming to church with their Christian significant others having no idea what is going on at Mass. People are sitting in the pews, going out of obligation – not love – for maybe 20+ years. At my parish, there are people showing up who are yearning to belong to some sort of community. Some are coming after years of religious searching and often asking the question, “what is my purpose in this life?”. Additionally we have broken families, single parents, and single people from countries at war are seeking refuge and freedom.
Our culture is transitioning. Stores are open on Sundays. Families attending church together on Sundays is out of the norm.The assumption that those who choose to send their kids to Christian or Catholic schools are themselves religious is naught. Christian influence on culture is indeed fading; sometimes considered even an unintelligent way to engage with the world. I remember sitting in my Biological Psychology class where my professor stated publicly that if we were to have religious views of the human person, we would have no place in the world of Psychology.
From Christendom to Apostolic Mission
The mode where the Christian imaginative vision influences society is called Christendom. We are no longer in this mode; instead, we have moved into something called the Apostolic Mode. I do feel that these separate modes are simply different ways to engage, not disengage. We cannot simply wait passively for Christendom to come back (where the secular vision parallels the Christian vision).
In the Apostolic Mode, the Christian faith does not play a central role in society; in fact, Christianity feels more costly because it is often considered an outdated or indoctrinated way of thinking. There are advantages and disadvantages of operating in Christendom vs. Apostolic modes. However, it is important to remember that Jesus is Lord; He knows what is happening and He has not abandoned us just because culture is transitioning.
Moving evangelization forward
So how do we address this? How do we move forward living as disciples, living out our faith and telling others about Jesus? I propose that there are ways of thought that come before behaviour change.
I work with a team at my parish that attempts to embody this Apostolic Mission intentionally in everything that we do. As a parish, we feel the burden and joyful expectation of moving from the age of Christendom and engaging in Apostolic Mode.
Here are a few ways my parish team is engaging in Apostolic Mission:
We guard our thoughts. God is not anxious about the state of the world. If we think deeply, do we feel God has abandoned us? Do we feel that we are being punished? Do we notice ourselves angry at God for the state of the world, asking in the quiet of our hearts, why hasn’t He intervened? We believe that God knows what is happening and He has not abandoned us.
We know who the true enemy is. We borrow this phase from Acts 29 (The Rescue Project): ”The Enemy is the enemy, not each other”. It can be so easy to blame a political party, a person, or a type of ministry in such times as these. In my training as a therapist, I learned that often, to make sense of suffering, humans need something/someone to ‘blame’. What if we turn that blame to where it really belongs? The enemy of all missional efforts is the devil: the one who comes to lie, divide, accuse, steal and destroy.
What if instead of blaming, we come to understand that this broken world is governed by a power of darkness. However, this does not mean or even condone a sense of passivity. I believe that we can make this world a better place, one person at a time. But how can we do that if we foster hatred in our hearts for individuals who simply see the world differently than us?We put human relationships first. My pastor has boldly claimed that it is time to sit with people in a coffee shop and hear stories with a shared pastry in the centre. Our parishioners gather before and after the Mass to talk about our personal lives. At an Alpha leadership conference, we were reminded that it is time to sit in circles with each other, not in pews.
We are learning through our programs and ministries that the best strategy is to dance with the Holy Spirit, but the next best is to put human relationships first. The Church is beginning to see what authentic relationships and authentic communities can do for this broken world. We even have a Men’s ministry called “Drinking with the Saints”- the leader’s testimony was this: “There is a difference in our parish because we’ve put relationships first”.
In Acts 2:44-47: the first Christian community of disciples is described: “And all who believed were together and had all things in common. And they were selling their possessions and belongings and distributing the proceeds to all, as any had need. And day by day, attending the temple together and breaking bread in their homes, they received their food with glad and generous hearts, praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord added to their number day by day those who were being saved.”
In therapy, a genogram helps clients see “how things have always been done”, and the client can make a decision based on this new self-awareness, to change or accept the way things are. In the case of our Church, I would argue that we can change our methods for mission once we see the bigger picture, and find new ways of relating with each other.
And like our families, we can begin to see the blessings of Christendom, and what the Lord has done in this mode because all glory be to Him. But also like our families, we can break certain cycles and engage by doing things a little differently.