We are a family of seven. With five kids there is never a dull moment in our household and the early years were especially lively. Though our family experiences of attending Mass and church services have changed over time, our intentional focus on keeping the love of God at the center has been a constant.
During Holy Week, we've been particularly intentional and attentive. The length of the liturgies, though breathtaking, posed a challenge. How would we keep the little kids still so as not to be disruptive? And if our focus is on our kids, how could we meaningfully enter into worship and prayer? Sometimes we felt tension between wanting to attend all the liturgies because “it’s what good Catholics do” and doing what we felt would best care for our family: keeping routine, getting our kids to bed on time or not missing naps. But at the heart of it we wanted to provide a meaningful Holy Week experience for both us and our kids, in age appropriate ways.
Looking back, I think our family’s journey through Holy Week has been a dynamic example of embracing the Lord’s words: “The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath” (Mark 2:27). While in our hearts we desired to be at every liturgy we knew that with little children it would be hard for Holy Week to be an act of true worship and a blessing to our family. We wanted to create a space and disposition where our children could truly experience and be blessed by the beautiful liturgies of Holy Week. We also wanted to ensure that our kids would be blessed year after year and so as they grew, we adapted our approach to help them encounter Jesus in an age appropriate way. This approach led us to be intentional about how we would enter Holy Week both in the home and at Church.
Early Years: Bringing Holy Week Home
In those early years, we focused on bringing Holy Week into the home. On Holy Thursday, we established a tradition of a simple meal: grape juice and freshly baked “Jesus bread,” as the kids called it. Dinner by candlelight and the story of the Last Supper set the stage. After the meal, I’d wash and kiss their feet, mirroring Jesus’ act of humble service. Doing this every year brings tears to my eyes. (Pro tip - add some meaningful music to set the stage. We play Joe Zambon’s “Jesus I love you”)
Attending the Holy Thursday Mass proved difficult with young children’s bedtimes and so in the early years we would miss it. However, once the kids were in bed I would make time to visit Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament in the Altar of Repose afterward. Those quiet moments, imagining Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane or awaiting judgment, became a personal time of consolation and deep intimacy.
Good Friday was a day of quiet reflection. The kids colored Stations of the Cross, which we displayed throughout the house, and we prayed a shortened version. At 3 pm the Good Friday service would be happening at the parish. We had little kids napping. And so we’d stay home. We created a small prayer space with a crucifix and a cardboard “cave.” Each child venerated the cross, and we placed it in the cave, sealing it with a garden rock. We then enjoyed a period of quiet reflection, reading and coloring. I was consistently amazed by the stillness and focus of my kids at such a young age.
Our family’s traditional Friday movie night took on a different tone on Good Friday. We’d forgo the usual popcorn and candy and instead watch a Christian-themed film, like “The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe.” As the kids got older, we introduced them to “The Chosen” series.
Holy Saturday became our day of quiet anticipation. We kept music and devices to a minimum, encouraging board games, reading, and simple meals. The theme was anticipation and waiting, knowing the joy that awaited us on Easter Sunday.
We prepared for Easter Sunday with excitement, involving the kids in planning brunch, treats, and movie choices. Easter, the most joyful day of the year, was celebrated with lavish meals and generous treats. We’d also celebrate for the whole week - after all the Church dedicates an octave, 8 whole days, to celebrating Easter!
Holy Week in the Church
As the kids grew, we began attending all of the liturgies. One year the kids were asked to have their feet washed by their pastor, which was novel at first but they understood the significance because of what we started in our home. Attending the Stations of the Cross and Good Friday service was also familiar to them. The pinnacle was the Easter Vigil. To prepare and create anticipation we’d tell them stories of staying up late, candlelight readings, and the glorious ringing of bells. Attending Easter vigil for the kids almost became a rite of passage. Their first vigil was filled with wonder and awe. When they were little, we’d dress them in pajamas, knowing they’d fall asleep amidst the readings. Now they prepare their own outfits with the same sense of anticipation from their first Easter vigil. Although they still comment on how long the vigil lasts, they are still in wonder and awe of all the movements of the night. We cap off our vigil with late night snacks at home!
As our family continues to grow I’m sure our traditions and activities around Holy Week will change. As parents our aim is to guide them into a deep and lasting encounter with Jesus Christ and His Church. For us that starts in the home and through our own witness of life. As we allow the liturgical year to be the rhythm that guides our family our hope would be that Jesus would remain the center of our family and in our kids’ lives.